12 Rules for Life

Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
“I apologize” and “you are right.”

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her – believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, “Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?”

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat
crow while it’s still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a
bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it’s not that important. Money is nice, but you
can’t take it with you. Statistics show most people don’t live to
spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have
isn’t really ours; It’s on loan to us while we’re here …even
our kids.

12. And finally…Be really good to your family and/or friends. You
never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.